Fat, Skinny, Fake, Natural: The worries of insecure girls

Girls are insecure by nature. Not every single one is born with that aura of confidence.

“Am I too fat?”, “Am I too skinny?”, “Does my make-up look fake?”, “Is my natural looks good enough?”, ect., ect..

We always worry about our looks because we know first impressions matters a lot. Which is rather sad because we aren’t really ourselves when we meet someone new. Thus, we sort of have this unconscious habit of giving wrong first impressions just to make ourselves become more approachable to others.

The reason behind this is very simple. Have you ever looked back and asked someone what was their first impression of you? Sure, some of you might have. And if you ask that question a lot, you will notice people start their replies with “When I first saw you, I thought…”.

I think that’s clear enough to understand why looks matter so much to us girls now. Let’s admit it, no matter what, your looks are the very reason why people are attracted to you at first. At first glance, at first sight, people see and define whether you can be approached to by your looks. Basically, your looks either carry a certain amount of attractive aura, or a repulsive one.

Let’s leave that as that.

So today I’ll be writing heartfelt letters to those insecure girls of different groups; those who think they’re too fat, those who think they’re too skinny, those who are afraid make-up makes them fake and those who are afraid that they’re not good enough to be natural. I hope these letters reach out to those who need it.

To those who think you’re too fat:

Hey, sweetie. How’s life going? I bet you’re pretty much upset about how fat you think you are. Is that why you came here for advice?

I don’t know your size, nor do I know how you look like. So rest assured, I can’t judge you. All I can tell you is that no matter what, you should eat regular meals and practically whatever you like. I believe in the end your happiness matters more than anything else.

You might be skipping meals, you might try to change your diet to what society deems as a ‘healthier’ one, you might even eat lesser than your usual portions. Can you please stop doing that if you are? The sound of those actions itself is already unhealthy and upsetting. I bet the people who truly love you will be upset if they ever find out you’re doing all those to be skinner, or to be an ideal size for society.

Let me tell you this: Society is cruel, and it will always remain so. It was just a few centuries ago that plump women were considered a beauty back in China, and the skinnier ones are condemned. Look at how the tables turned now, who knows if it’ll turn again? If you’re feeling this way, feeling that you’re too fat, I really think that society’s perceptions has a lot of to with it. Stop looking at magazines and posters and newspapers featuring those models. They’re gorgeous of course, that’s why they’re models.

Go look into a mirror, look at yourself even if you don’t want to. You see the mirror thinking that you are what you think you are. That’s not true. You have never seen yourself laugh at jokes, nor have you seen yourself smile at people. You have never seen yourself being yourself, thus you can’t really judge your own beauty. What other people see in you, that’s what matters most. Beauty is on the inside and is measured by how you are as a person, not the weight shown on a weighing scale. Remember that and remember that well.

I hope my words reassures you, I hope it makes today better somehow. I can’t give professional advice, but all I can give you is words from my heart. And I truly hope that’s enough to calm your insecurities.

Regards,
Melody

To those who think you’re too skinny:

Hey there. How are you feeling today? Having a good appetite, I hope?

First of all I’d like to tell you that I don’t know who you are nor do I know how you look like, so rest assured, I won’t judge you. If you’re reading this, all I can assume is that you think yourself as a skinny person.

Right now I wonder if you’re stuffing yourself with food. I hope you’re not forcing yourself to eat, that’s not being very nice to your body. Of course, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you what’s good and what’s not from my perspective. If you’re full I suggest you to stop stuffing your face. I bet you look slightly bit ridiculous now, with perhaps potato chip bits on the side of your mouth.

Yes, I’ll actually like to teach you to laugh at yourself. You think you’re skinny, you think you don’t have enough meat. Why don’t you go ahead and count your bones and brag about it to people? That’s a rather amusing idea, isn’t it? If you’ve read the above letter, you’ll know that there are people dying to be skinny, but I also know being too skinny is a rather bad thing. People on the streets might see you as a freak. I know that kind of feeling, but are you going to let how others look at you affect how you look at yourself?

Tell me, what do you see in the mirror? Do you think you’re beautiful? If your answer is yes, congratulations. You don’t really have a reason to feel insecure. If your answer is no, why don’t you make yourself feel beautiful?

I believe that you can change your perspective of yourself, because you are the one thinking that you’re too skinny. Sure, there may be people telling you that as well, but let’s not go there first. There’s this little monster inside you making you think that way. Are you going to let it make you do that forever? Let that monster out, shout it loud to the world that you’re beautiful. Laugh at your bones, count them and brag, because you should be proud of who you are. If people say you’re too skinny, just shrug it off and tell them, “That’s me.”.

Learn to be confident of what you have, I think that’s where true beauty shines.

Regards,
Melody

To those who think make-up makes them fake:

Hi babe. Am I entitled to call you that? Oh well, what I call you doesn’t really matter, does it?

Again, I’ll like to empathise that I don’t know who you are, thus I can’t judge you for what you do. Are you the type of person who puts on make-up to enhance your beauty, but gets called fake for it? Well, I guess you are, that’s why you’re here.

I bet you’d notice that I used the phrase ‘enhance your beauty’ instead of ‘covering your flaws’. Well, if you didn’t, notice it now. There is a reason why I made that sentence that way.

Humans are full of flaws; physically and mentally. No one can have the perfect face even after 1 million plastic surgeries, no one can have the perfect mind even after several brain transplants. What we can try to achieve is to have a good heart.

People may judge you for what you put on your face, but do they know your true reason for doing so? I can say that I don’t know, so they don’t know either. Thus, they have no rights to judge you and whatever they say about you doesn’t really matter.

You chose to use make-up for a reason. I’m not going to question you on that but all I know is that you have a reason to be doing what you are doing to your face. You have a reason, if that isn’t enough to stop you from ignoring other people’s thoughts about you, I don’t know what is. All I can tell you is, no one can be fake until they hide their true personalities from other people. That is what I call fake. Putting stuff on your face doesn’t make you fake, hiding who you really are is the most artificial thing anyone can do to themselves.

β€œSometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.”
― Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger

Just be yourself. If people can judge you for all they want, but they don’t know who you really are, they don’t know you. Next time a stranger calls you fake, just laugh. They’re the joke, not you.

Regards,
Melody

To those who think they’re not good enough to be natural:

Hi, beautiful. How have you been? Are you ready to feel confident today?

You’re a bit special, I don’t think that you’re not beautiful enough to be natural, I just think you’re not confident enough. Isn’t that where all problems start to arise, due to lack of confidence?

I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way. Even the person with the ugliest face and the ugliest heart can be beautiful. It’s simple; to me he/she carries the beauty of cruelty. But that’s just what I think.

Let’s talk about you. Average girl, aren’t you? You don’t think you’re ugly, neither do you think you’re pretty enough. That’s where your dilemma is. Ask yourself this question; what do you think about yourself? Answer that honestly.

I guess you’re the type that doesn’t want to resort to make-up, but you’re afraid that you’re not pretty enough without it. Silly, silly girl. If you don’t want to use it, you don’t need it, am I right? I guess that’s all I have to say.

I’m sorry that this is shorter than the rest, but I think it’s enough as an encouragement for you. Go out and smile, that’s the only natural make-up you need.

Regards,
Melody

 

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